IT’S IMPORTANT!
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I wanted to share my fitness journey with you guys before I started sharing too many meals, fitness tips or acting like a know it all about healthy living. I think it’s important to share this information because I am not a registered dietitian or a trainer of any sorts. Yet, I am a person who lost a significant amount of weight, has kept it off and has dedicated their life to
LOW PRICE STEROIDS EU living a healthy lifestyle.
Some of you have watched and have been there for my journey since the beginning, while others are reading about this for the first time. To put it out there plain and simple though, I lost close to 30 lbs when I was 16 years old. While that may not seem like a huge or significant number to some, on my tiny 5ft frame – it was huge. Throughout my whole journey, my heaviest was 140 (please remember how short I am) and my lowest was 100.
I’ve had ups, I’ve had downs. I’ve gained, I’ve lost and I’ve learned. Everyone’s journey is different and this is mine.
THE BEGINNING
When I look back at grade school, there was no doubt that I was the chubby girl. While I wasn’t chubby my whole life, I was for as long as I can remember. Even as a young child I knew I was heavy. I knew. At eight-years-old, I would stare in the mirror with disgust in my eyes, as I looked at myself. I would cry to my mother because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be thin. Why I was different.
While as a child it hurt, I was still a child, I was confused more than anything. As a teenager, it probably hit harder, but yet, I didn’t do anything to change it because I didn’t know how. I mean, I wasn’t doing anything different than all my friends. We ate the same food, drank the same drinks, were in the same activities and sports….
So why was I so much heavier?
When I was 16, I decided to make a change and start to do something about it. I realized that I was different and couldn’t eat like my friends could. I didn’t have a fast metabolism, I wasn’t going to just wake up one day thin and there wasn’t going to be a magical pill that would make my weight melt off. If I wanted to lose weight, I needed to start really working for it. Right around this time, I had just gotten my drivers license (Fall 2008) and my mom was finally letting me drive to and from school by myself, so I drove to the YMCA and I got a gym membership.
When I first walked in, I had no idea what to do in the gym, nor where to even begin, but as time went on, I figured it out. From that point on, every day after school, I would go to the YMCA and I would make myself run for a full 10 minutes. To you, and to myself today, that is nothing, but at that time, it was the hardest 10 minutes of my life. I would then go down to the matt, I would stretch, do a series of ab exercises, and then I would do weights. I had my own little routine, and I would normally do full body exercise every day.
Nutrition wise I cut out all bread, all fast food, and all sodas. This started after reading the book Fast Food Nation (everyone should read it!) I also started incorporating a grapefruit day…. (I call it the magical fruit). At this time, I was not counting calories at all, but I was very careful about the amount I was eating, and what I was putting in my body. I would watch the scale go down every week, every day, and that was all the motivation I needed.
I didn’t starve myself and I didn’t try some crazy fad diet. By solely cutting junk food out of my diet and dedicating myself to 45 minutes at the gym 6 days a week, I lost 20 lbs in less than a year.
**NOTE**
I don’t want you to read this and think I am just posting this for praise…. because I am not!!! To be completely honest, it actually gives me severe anxiety putting this out there and for being so vulnerable….I mean, even Colton has seen very few pictures of me at my heaviest. Please know that this is not because I’m “ashamed” of the fact that I was once heavier. I truly believe that all sizes are beautiful…..it’s just that in my story and my journey, it has more to do with the fact that it wasn’t a happy time for me. When I think back to that time and I see the pictures…. I remember that little girl.
Part 2
Writing the “Second Part” of the series was actually a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Only because it was so hard deciding what to share, how to share it and how to make everything flow. I kind of call this my “figuring it out stage” if that makes sense?
So without further ado….
Towards the end of my senior year of high school, a few months before heading off to Baylor, I let myself add on a few extra pounds, but nothing too drastic. There was no way I was going to let myself gain the infamous freshman 15. Nope, not this girl. Not the girl who worked so hard to lose the weight in the first place.
OH HELLLL NO WAS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN!!
Well, it did…… and it happened all before the fall semester had even started. Since I went to Baylor early and started taking summer classes at the beginning of July….I was technically a month ahead of everyone in the weight gaining department
(Poor Eating, Cardio, and Way Too Much Partying )
By this time, I had gained half the weight back that I had previously lost…..
But like, how was this happening?
! I wasn’t doing anything that different. I mean, I was still working out and I was still eating healthy….ish?
!So how was this happening?
Well, when I look back, it was all very clear.
Every day, I would go to the SLC (Baylor’s student gym) with friends and do cardio for like 25 minutes, followed by abs. We were all eating at the same places and eating the same things. Yeah, the alcohol & partying didn’t help but it wasn’t like I was doing anything drastically different from them… I mean, they were skinny and we were eating/doing the same things… yet I was the only one gaining weight.
SOUND SIMILAR TO EARLIER?
Thankfully during this time – I realized I had lost focus. I lost focus of MY fitness journey. I forgot that I am not like everyone. I am not naturally thin, I wasn’t born with a 6-pack and an ass-kicking metabolism. I lost focus on the fact that I have to work harder. I forgot the number one rule in that you cannot compare yourself to somebody else, because everyone is different and everyone’s fitness journey is different.
By the end of Freshman year, I really noticed how much weight I had gained, so once again, I cut out all fast food, soda, and white bread. By doing this, I was able to lose some weight by the fall but it wasn’t as easy this time around. It wasn’t until Christmas of my Sophomore year that I decided I needed to step up my game. I started doing a lot of research and realized that the biggest mistake I had been making the past year, on top of partying and eating poorly (hello frat parties, froyo, and too many late night Whataburger runs), was that I stopped doing weights. If you remember from back in part one… when I first started working out, I would run, do abs and then would finish with weights. The moment I added weight lifting back into my routine, I saw almost immediate results and from then on, I was completely hooked on weights and resistance training.
My First Weight Training Regimen
Monday: Legs – 10 mins on the bike
Tuesday: Shoulders – 15 – 20min stair stepper
Wednesday: Cardio – Run Bear Trail (3-4 miles)
Thursday: Back – 15 to 20 min stair stepper
Friday: Arms – 15 to 20 min stair stepper
Saturday: Chest – Run Bear Trail (3-4 miles)
Sunday: Yoga
For three years, my life revolved around this workout plan and eating a set diet. To be completely honest though, it was a lot easier to find time to work out in college than it is now. Not to mention the fact that I was probably walking 30,000+ steps a day and had an ample amount of free time to do as I pleased. I just moved so much more than I do now that I’m in that #deskjob life.
Diet wise – absolutely no fast food, soda, or white bread. Only fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats and whole oats for this girl (To this day I still eat like this, but I am more lenient).
Side Note***
Are you guys catching on to how big of a deal it is to cut out fast food, soda, and white bread out of your diet? Okay, cool. Just making sure.
As I end Part 2,
I want to make sure that you guys understand its biggest takeaways…. like just how important weight training and clean eating are in reaching your goals. The fact that partying and eating poorly will always hold you back and just how important it is to not compare your fitness journey to others because as I said above, everyone is different.
Part 3
MY FITNESS JOURNEY: PART 3
(BODY DYSMORPHIA, OBSESSION & LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF)
By my senior year at Baylor, I had lost all of my weight again + more. During this time, I was in great shape. I was the thinnest I had been at 100 lbs. This is when I started documenting everything I put in my body, every single day, down to the ounces I drank in my wine. Only allowing myself 1000-1200 calories a day. I was addicted to the scale and I was obsessed with people telling me how thin I was. I wouldn’t go out with friends in fear of over eating, if I thought I over indulged on a date w/ Colton, I would cry myself to sleep and the thought of vacations (aka not being able to eat my set diet or follow my set workout plan) would give me such anxiety that I would make myself sick the entire way leading up to them.
Needless to say, the moment I graduated, started my first job and saw my weight rising a little, I had a true panic attack. I mean, I freaked out. Looking back though, this small weight gain was not a big deal but at the time, all that I could think was…..
“OMG IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN!!”
So basically…. long story short….I became more of a psycho and started being harder on myself than I ever was before. I’m not sure if it was because my body wasn’t used to sitting at a desk all day or whether it was the fact that my body was way too use to my workout routine from school, but I was definitely gaining weight and I started being really hard on myself.
Poor Colton, I was not a fun person to be around.
I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
I learned very quickly that financially, a full-time trainer wasn’t an option. But, after meeting with a few, the number one thing they told me was that I needed to kick it up a notch. I started doing two-a-days waking up at 5 a.m. & working out after work. That kind of worked for a little while, but I was being so hard on my body, that I was exhausted. I was so stressed, and focusing so much on losing weight that I wasn’t able to lose anything. (Remember, I am self taught) Right around this time, my friend, Tera told me she was starting the Kayla Instine’s Bikini Body Guide.
When browsing through Kayla’s website & Instagram it’s pretty easy to get stoked and pump yourself up. I mean, she has fantastic success stories. I thought to myself “This is it, I am going to get back on track and lose all of my weight with this plan”!
Well, that didn’t happen and I actually haven’t lost any weight since starting her plan….but that doesn’t mean it didn’t help me. Truth be told, her workouts pushed me to that next level, getting me out of my plateau. After spending so much time stressing over my body image, the number on my scale, not missing a single workout & having Colton take my “reminder” pictures…. I finally looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw! THIS was an incredible moment.
I was SO exhausted of obsessing over it all – finally I looked in the mirror and felt at peace. The bottom line is, I want to be fit, I want to be happy, & healthy, but I also want to LIVE. I want to get dessert on date nights, and enjoy brunch with my friends. I want to go on vacation and drink daiquiris. Because that is living & the way I treated myself, wasn’t.
So that’s where I am now, focusing on learning to love my body. Learning to love myself. Maybe it is because of my past & because no matter what, I will always view myself as the “heavier girl”. But, I know I am no longer that person, that I have worked hard to get to where I am today and that I will continue to workout hard and to eat healthy, but I won’t kill myself over an indulgence.
It’s all about balance. It’s all about giving your body the nutrients it needs and moving to keep it healthy. It’s also about being happy with who you are. Today I am still doing Kayla’s guide for the second time, but I also mix it up with my old weight routine & a lot of spin classes, which I love love, love. I will always choose the healthier option, but I will let myself indulge.
Maybe this is a weird ending?
Idk, I feel like I am aimlessly typing in my bed. All in all, I just want everyone who is trying to lose weight, to realize that you’re incredible, beautiful & you can change your habits into being a healthier and happier person. Keywords: healthier and happier. I want you to change because of those reasons and not because you think you should be a certain number on a scale.
My fitness journey will never be a finished series, your body changes everyday & it’s a life long commitment to a healthier lifestyle. It’s just finding what works for you at that moment & what makes you happy. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this series as much as I have enjoyed sharing it. I do not know who all reads this, but if I can just help or inspire one person, then that’s fulfilling enough to me.
If you guys have any questions or comments, please email me! I truly love reading them.